Outside of Ubud

At 2:30am a car picked me up from my hotel, and we headed towards the mountain. I joined up with three other girls as Noame equipped us with flashlights and led us into darkness. The path was rocky and steep. I hadn’t hiked in weeks and my body was grateful to be climbing in the starlight. We neared the stopping point just as orange and pink appeared behind the mountains. I saw a higher peak and asked the guide about it. He said it was really steep and would take an extra 30 minutes to trek.

One other girl, Dina volunteered to go with me. Red and yellow joined together to welcome the sun as we reached the peak of our climb with the largest volcano crater in Bali on one side and a lake backed by the largest mountains peaks in the land on the other. The wispy clouds acted as paintbrushes blending the colors together as soft cumulous clouds danced around the mountains. I took a few minutes to be alone and thank God for his creation and beauty. Although I was having a really hard time feeling Him, I knew He was there.

We headed back to Ubud, and made it with just enough time for me to pack and get ready to head to the beach. Doddie picked me up, and we made our way to Candidasa. The ride was filled with stopping to buy fruit and singing at the top of our lungs to radio tunes (hearing him pelt out Britney Spears was my favorite). When we stopped to get some mangosteen and snakeskin fruit, I decided to see if I could pick up a durian fruit. I kept seeing huge ones on the side of the road and was wondering how much they actually weighed. I barely pick one of them up and opted for a smaller one to hold while Doddie took a picture for me. We ate the snakeskin fruit, my new favorite, and continued to sing until we pulled into my hotel.

I checked in and decided to explore the town. It is a tiny town and I only knew about it from Keith and Serena. I grabbed some some food, worked on my blog, and decided to go to bed early. I got a basic room with a cold shower and a ceiling fan. It reminded of when I went to Thailand almost five years ago and for $5-$10 a night, that’s all every place I stayed had. It was really hot, so I was hoping I would welcome a cold shower…nope. It doesn’t matter how hot I am, I am such a baby in the cold water!! With the freezing shower and the ceiling fan, I decided I was ok without the aircon (air conditioner). I was closing my windows when a lizard ran from behind the curtain.

“You better get out now or you’ll be stuck in here all night.” I warned him as he scurried along the wall even though I knew he could escape. I didn’t see him again, but I was woken up at 3:00 am by a very talkative lizard. I assumed it was him finally feeling in the mood for conversation, however, I was not. I covered my face with a pillow and tossed and turned until he stopped talking about an hour later. The joys of staying in tropical places!

I woke up a few hours later from a dream that left me feeling alone and homesick. Where are you God? For the first time since Christmas, I found myself crying in my room and questioning everything I was doing. How could I feel two contradicting feelings at the same time? Emotions that I thought were gone, came back. I listened to some music and prayed for these unwanted feelings to be replace with a fullness, with the peace I so recently had, with the strength to move forward, and the ability to let go of the things not for me. I called my sister, who is always honest with me, and told her what was going on. She listened and reminded me of some basic truths. When we hung up, I felt renewed and ready to face the day. I think God used this dream to get my attention and bring me back to where I need to be. This last week I felt peace and joy I haven’t experienced in awhile, but I also found myself constantly needing to be distracted from my thoughts and emotions. I prayed and read my Bible but wouldn’t meditate on anything purposeful for the rest of the day. I felt good. I felt empowered, yet there was an emptiness and numbness inside. This dream brought me back into the reality that I am still working through stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel very empowered and good, but humbled again.

I headed to Virgin Beach, which is a white sand beach stretched between two cliffs, one cliff is rocky with spotted flora and the other is green with trees and grass. It’s a quiet place with not much to do but read, write, swim, and relax. I took advantage of this time to catch up on my blog.

Back at the hotel later, I met up with Serena and Keith. We watched the sunset and talked about Austin, traveling, health, and food. They are both really smart people and fun to carry on a conversation with. I love talking to people that know more than me and challenge my thinking. One thing Serena said that really stuck with me was that it is important to her to live intentionally. I have woken up many days and gone about my routine without evening thinking. This is something I am going implement in my life. We checked out a restaurant within walking distance of out hotel that evening. Once again, I enjoyed great conversations with great people. My birthday was the next day, so Serena and Keith celebrated with me and paid for my dinner.