Debunking Birthing Stereotypes: Addressing the Myths and Fears Surrounding Birth
Childbirth, one of life's most profound experiences, is shrouded in myths and misconceptions that have been passed down through generations. From old wives' tales to questionable advice from well-meaning friends and family, it's time to debunk the myths and bring clarity to the world of birth.
We all have heard crazy birth stories that have us second-guessing how we want to give birth. “Your doctor did what?” “They told you that?” I have always been hesitant to tell people my birthing plans because I get comments back about someone’s third cousin’s neighbor who had a terrible experience.
This is exactly the kind of stress you don’t need in pregnancy. Your body goes through so much and so does your mind. You have your own worries and stresses surrounding birth without everyone else’s input. SO, let’s explore common childbirth myths and provide evidence-based information to help expectant parents make informed choices about their birth experiences.
Myth #1: The Hollywood Birth
Let’s just say I have never seen a birth on TV or in a movie that seemed realistic. They all start with your water breaking or PROM (pre-rupture of membranes). Followed by rushing to the hospital in very active labor. Then, within a couple of hours, they are holding their baby.
Water breaking: In the movies, there is a huge gush of water that comes out which leads me to question why is no one wearing underwear!? But seriously, let’s talk about myths surrounding your water breaking in labor. Only 8-10% of women will experience this as a first sign of labor and about 1% will have a big gush as opposed to a trickle. This means that around 90% of women will have other signs of labor before their waters break such as contractions, back pain, and nausea. My water broke at the beginning of labor with my first birth. I was having mild contractions and they definitely revved up after my water broke. 19 hours later, my daughter was born. With my second, my water didn’t break until the contraction before I pushed my baby’s head out. Two totally different experiences!
Heading straight to the hospital: If your water has broken but labor hasn’t started yet, according to research you have time! This will also depend on many factors such as GBS status, STD status, and if you are showing signs of infection. What if contractions start? Do you head straight to the hospital? This depends on the type of birth you want to have. Labor can be really long for first-time moms and if you get there too soon, they may send you home. If you want a low-intervention birth, it is better to labor at home until you are in active labor, which can be hard to determine if it is your first. Taking some type of childbirth education course can really help you and your partner know when it is time. The sooner you get to the hospital, the more interventions usually get introduced, so that is something to take into consideration.
Labor only lasts a couple of hours: I hate to break it to ya but labor for a first-time mom lasts on average 12-24 hours and it's not uncommon to even go days. If you are being induced it is very common for first-time moms to labor for 2-3 days. Second-time moms have it a bit quicker! Your body has muscle memory and knows what it is doing.
Myth #2: You Can Predict the Exact Due Date
To think that every woman has a 28-day cycle and ovulates on day 14 and their placenta and amniotic fluid expire at exactly 40 weeks is insane. Every single body is different. Every baby is different. The way that due dates are calculated comes from a professor in the 1700s based off of 100 women. This seems pretty outdated and doesn’t take into consideration culture, seasons, diet, and more. Yes, all of these things affect birth!!
Let’s look at the way France calculates due dates. Their “due date” is actually at the 41-week mark. This makes much more sense since research shows that the majority of births naturally occur between 40 and 41 weeks. However, it is also normal for some to birth 2-3 weeks before or after their “due date.” Research has also shown that components in the surfactant produced by the baby’s lungs enter the mother’s system and trigger the labor process to start when the baby is ready. Your body and baby are working together and know the right time to birth.
Going past 40 weeks doesn't make you high risk or a ticking time bomb. Check out the research on due dates so you can learn the risks for yourself! Read Here
Myth #3: Your Birth Experience Will Mirror Your Mother's
Just because your mom had cesareans and your sister had cesareans, does not mean that you have to have a cesarean. Generational trauma is real and can absolutely affect your birth. Can there sometimes be something genetic that can be inherited? Rarely. This might be a good time to put some boundaries in place and let people know that now is not the time to share their traumatic birth with you. This also may be something to take into consideration when deciding who will be in the birthing room with you. Is it someone in your family who will project their own experience on you? Or maybe seeing them there may trigger you to think about their traumatic experience. These are all things to consider.
Health, mental health, and education all play into not repeating family patterns. Maybe you learned something different than your mom knew and chose a different birthing route. Being informed and educated on risks and options in birth is crucial to changing outcomes. However, the biggest factor in having your desired birth is choosing the right provider.
Myth #4: Birth is Scary, Painful, and Something to Fear
I am not one of those people who is going to say that birth isn’t painful, but I am going to challenge your perception of pain a little bit. We have grown up in a society that doesn’t do well with the slightest discomfort. That isn’t life though. There is going to be pain in life and if we can embrace that, we can surrender to it and not suffer through it. I am not saying you can’t get some sort of pain management in birth at all! I am saying you have options! Epidurals aren’t the only way to alleviate pain in labor. However, if you do want to have an unmedicated birth, you have to do the work. Your mind, body, and spirit all need to be prepared. I’d argue that your mind, body, and spirit all need to be prepared for any birth. Birth is powerful!
Maybe this is your first time and you are scared that you are going to give up or that it’s going to be out of your control. It’s important to acknowledge that situations can arise in birth and that’s why we have interventions. It is also important to acknowledge that these interventions have become the norm and when you are educated and informed, it’s not scary. You know your options, and YOU know how to take charge of your birth.
Maybe this isn’t your first time, but your last birth was traumatic. It doesn’t have to be again. I am so sorry that your birth did not unfold how you envisioned. I am sorry that you didn’t feel heard in your experience and that birth was not at all this peaceful, joyous experience. You are valid in feeling nervous, scared, __________ fill in the blank. Know that this doesn’t have to be your experience the next time around. Surround yourself with a supportive team that makes you feel heard, genuinely takes time to talk through your history and concerns, and helps you map out a different plan.
Childbirth is a deeply personal journey, and debunking myths is essential for empowering expectant parents to make informed choices. By dispelling these misconceptions, we aim to foster a more supportive and understanding environment for those embarking on the remarkable journey of bringing a new life into the world.
There are, of course, a ton more myths that we could discuss. However, I think all of them come back to find out what is evidence-based, what is the experience you want to have, and what works for you. Don’t let other people stress you out! Now is a great time to set boundaries, tune out what doesn’t serve you, and take in what does!