Pregnancy Arguments, Scares and More (Weeks 9-13)

These next few weeks were the toughest of my pregnancy by far! Between a scare and every emotion under the sun, I realized how hard pregnancy really is. Waiting between appointments feels like an eternity. How do I know the baby is ok? How do people trust their bodies and God during this time? It is such an incredible journey for sure that depends faith, confidence and intimacy if you allow it to.

Week 9

I thought I left my morning sickness behind. I woke up and had no queasiness throughout the day and felt back to my normal self. As I got ready for bed that night, the heartburn and nausea started. Every time I would go to lay down, I felt a little sick. I decided to make sure I had a small snack before bed and I upped my magnesium. After a few nights, it finally went away. It was around this time that I felt my emotions changing. As a little girl, I was super compassionate and cared so deeply about everyone and everything. I would cry if I saw roadkill because I felt so bad for the animal. Over the years, I learn to control my emotions.... until week 9 of my pregnancy hit.

I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders again. How could evil exist? Why is there starvation in the world? How could someone abuse a child? My thoughts could spiral fast and so I would try to fill my head with the good in the world. I decided to watch Ellen videos for two hours and continued to cry my eyes out because of the lives she was changing. I cried every day this week.

My meat aversion continued. I could eat it as long as I wasn't the one to cook it. I know how important protein is in pregnancy and tried to make sure I was eating some daily. My boobs also felt heavier this week. I couldn't tell if they had gotten any bigger but they definitely felt heavier. I continued to not sleep very well. I tossed and turned all night, but despite this, I felt my energy returning. I would wake in the morning ready to take on the day! Hopefully this was a prophetic sign of the rest of my pregnancy.

My birthday was the following week and Vito and I decided to celebrate early. We went to a nice dinner where I ordered so much!! All the apps talked about losing your appetite and despite dealing with a little nausea, my appetite only increased. I was hungry all the time! It was one of the best dinners I had ever had... or maybe I was that hungry and the company was that great!

Me reading my Mama Natural book and cuddling with Hutch.

week 10

This week brought a whole new level of feeling better. Was I starting to feel a nesting period? By nature, I don't love cleaning and am not the most organized person. All of a sudden, I had the urge to purge of my closet. Vito and I went through and got rid of seven garbage bags of stuff just from our closet! I also put a bunch of stuff up for sale on Poshmark. Every day I was feeling a little better.

I decided to join a Women's Bible Study this week. I hadn't been a part of one in over ten years and was craving community and connection. It was really nice to meet the ladies in my group and I knew some friendships would develop. I felt that I really needed to connect deeper in my faith and this would hold me accountable to spend time with God every day.

It was my birthday week this week and I didn't really feel like doing much. I had been craving sushi and after begging Vito, we finally went. I ordered a veggie roll and a cooked roll. Vito did not approve. He heard "no sushi" and believed that meant any form of it. We argued the whole night. I had also been taking baths before bed. Early on in my pregnancy, I thought I felt a UTI coming on. I really wanted to avoid any form of antibiotics while pregnant if possible. I had a great bath recipe to help prevent them and would take an apple cider vinegar bath twice a week. I've always been sensitive to UTI's but it had been over tens years since I had full on gotten one. Thankfully, this one didn't fully com eon either. After two baths and some cranberry pills, it was gone. Vito felt my bath temp one night and thought it was two hot. Another reason to argue. I assured him that I would never do anything to hurt the baby. Baths were the only thing that relaxed me before bed and helped me sleep. This was starting to get hard. Although I was feeling better, Vito and I were arguing more than ever.

The day after my birthday, I got the best gift. We got to see the baby for the first time! Nugget(what I call the baby) was laying on its back with its legs crossed in the air. We saw the heartbeat and it all started to feel real. We also discovered that my placenta is anterior (in the front) so it may be harder to feel those first kicks when the time comes. Vito asked the midwife about my baths and the sushi rolls (without sushi) and she said it was fine. We could finally lay that argument to rest. We talked about doing First Trimester Screening to check for abnormalities. We weighed the pros and cons. We didn’t want to find out the gender either way. Vito thought it would be nice to do the testing so we could be prepared as parents. I totally understood this stance, but I would rather not know. I didn’t want any additional reason to be anxious during this pregnancy and many abnormalities can be picked up at the 20 week anatomy scan. We decided to wait.

Recipe for Apple Cider Vinegar Bath:

Add in a warm bath, 1 cup apple cider vinegar, 2 drops melaleuca, and 2 drops frankincense.

*This is more of a prevention than a cure. Talk to your healthcare provider if you think you have a UTI.

Week 11

I started to feel back to my normal self. Was this a bad sign that my bloating was down, my nausea was gone and I felt normal? It's so hard not to read into everything.

We were going to visit my family at the end of the week in Texas. I knew this was probably the last time we would make it down there for a awhile and was so excited to spend time with them. The night before our flight, I was in my room packing when I felt a warm gush come out of me. I ran to the bathroom. It was bright red blood. I immediately started crying and called Vito to come look. There was a lot. This couldn't be a good sign. We called out midwife and the office was closed. She said we could come into the office the next day if wanted to or we could wait it out and come in on Tuesday when we returned from our trip. I really didn't want to cancel this trip and we decided to go. She gave me some signs to look out for over the weekend and let me know she would be in touch by phone.

I immediately went down a spiral of negative thoughts. My baths were too hot. This was my fault. I should not have eaten a veggie roll. This was my fault. I am being punished for every sin I had committed. This was my fault.

We enjoyed the time with my family. It was refreshing to get to spend time with my mom and sister. All my pregnancy symptoms were gone and I had some dried blood over the weekend. Vito and I laid in bed one night with his hand on my stomach talking about what if we had lost the baby. Vito comforted me and was my rock over the weekend until we made it home.

Week 12

We walked into the appointment with our midwife on the day baby turned twelve weeks. Vito and I were really nervous as she set up the equipment and asked some questions. As soon as she started the ultrasound she said, "Look! Your baby is literally waving at you!" Healthy. Our baby was healthy! We could see our nugget's heartbeat and we could release our fears. We decided to share the news with the Miraculous Mamas Facebook group. I felt I needed some support and they are the perfect group of women to help!

My nausea was back but it only came in waves. It would come for ten minutes and then be gone for an hour and repeat throughout the day. Again, this didn't slow my appetite. Was I getting a gut? The constant bloat was back. I read about constipation during pregnancy and thankfully this was not a problem for me. I still went to the bathroom consistently and knew that wasn't the reason for the bloating.

Towards the end of the week, my energy was starting to come back again and the nausea was disappearing. I was starting to see a pattern. There was no rhyme or reason to it. Some days I had more energy than others. It would come and go and I would adapt to the day. I was so looking forward to getting out of the first trimester and wondered if everything they said was true. I was truly blessed and knew my pregnancy was much easier than many. I had still never thrown up and was never out for an entire day. I could still function and get things done.

Week 13

Is everything ok? I feel so good. All of my symptoms were gone again. I had no more nausea or food aversions. My energy was back to normal. I did feel like I would get worn out a little quicker though. My breasts were finally starting to get tender (I thought this was one of the first signs) and my nipples were starting to change. Nowhere did I read that my nipples would start to change this early! Why did no one tell me? They were getting darker and larger. Will they ever go back to normal? I liked my old nipples better. Every time I noticed a change in my body, I would point it out to Vito. He always reassured me that I am beautiful and my body is preparing for the baby.

All of the apps and books I am reading say that this is when my appetite should return. Well I have news for you: it never left. I have been starving since about 6 weeks and have already experienced some slow steady weight gain. I love how they say “eat about 300 extra calories a day.” I didn’t count calories before this and not about to start! I think it is important to try to be healthy and make sure you are eating enough greens an protein. Although I definitely feel bloated, I can still fit in my regular clothes.

Acid reflux started to kick my butt. I was trying to stay hydrated but I would throw up in my mouth anytime I would drink too much water. I also started to throw up a little when I would brush my teeth. I am trying to clean my mouth!!! This made it hard for sure.

The waiting for the second trimester was almost over. I felt like I could breathe if I made it to 14 weeks. The waiting is so hard! Towards the end of the week I noticed I had a lot of leukorrhea, that lovely discharge that comes with pregnancy. Not wearing undies was no longer an option! Granny panties all day long, sexy I know!

My favorite part of this week was reading about the development of the baby. If we are having a girl, she has over two million eggs in her ovaries which means I am carrying my grandchildren. How wild is that? There is a part of me that wants to find out the gender, but I am really excited for the surprise.

Pregnancy is weird and changes everything: our bodies, our relationships, our food preferences and even our dreams. I am excited to continue to navigate this with you. If you want to read about my first four weeks of pregnancy, click here.