Moving? Here’s How to Help Your Kids Accept Change

Moving? Here’s How to Help Your Kids Accept Change

By Kris Louis

Perhaps you’ve gotten a promotion or simply have outgrown your original home. For whatever reason, you and your spouse or partner have decided that a move is on the horizon. But it is no longer just the two of you, and you have children who know no other place except the one you call home. This scenario can get sticky quickly, but not if you handle it the right way from the beginning. Miraculous Mamas shows you how.

Behind the Scenes

Before you make your announcement to the kids, there are a few things you should have in place first. Most importantly, do your research so that you know your budget and where to find the best home within it. Make sure to pay attention to everything from school zone to average selling price. This will help you avoid fights about money, which according to Science of People is one of the top reasons that couples fight and argue. By having your finances in order, knowing where you want to move, and being in agreement on when and where that will happen, you won’t expose the kids to any more stress than absolutely necessary.

It’s also important to discuss open houses and showings with your children so they know what to expect during this part of the process. They may initially seem confused and even unhappy about the need to declutter and depersonalize the house — including their rooms. But the more they understand the process, the easier it will be.

The Talk

Once you have a unified front, it’s time to talk to the kids. First, explain to them that your home may no longer be the best option for your family. If the move is because of a job relocation, it can help to show them photos of their next hometown to get them excited before you drop the bombshell. You can also remind them that there are plenty of ways to stay in touch with the people they have to leave behind. They might, for example, write letters, video chat, or come back for periodic visits.

Let them know what you are moving to. This might be an area where the landscape or people look different. Make a point to stress, particularly to young children, that everyone in the family, including their pets and favorite toys and stuffed animals, are coming along on the adventure with you.

Although you have to let them know what’s going on, make sure to use age-appropriate language. You might use stories, books, or even TV shows about moving to illustrate the process. Take the kids with you when looking at houses, if practical. This can help them feel excited about a larger bedroom, bigger backyard, or features such as a swimming pool or community playground, that your current home doesn’t have. Be prepared for pushback, but remain firm and gentle throughout the process. Remember, children are resilient, but easing them into the idea of moving can help prevent short- or long-term emotional trauma. This is particularly important if they are leaving schools, friends, and grandparents behind.

Managing the Move

Aside from the emotional, there are many practical aspects to moving as well. And when you have children, being practical is a fluid and ever-changing idea. There are a few things you can do to stay on track. This includes giving yourself plenty of time and letting the kids pack some things on their own. Even your two-year-old can handle putting baby blankets and stuffed animals into a small box. Teens can be a bit more hands-on, and they should be responsible for packing up their own bedroom, gaming systems, and other personal belongings.

Moving with children, regardless of their ages, can bring with it a truck-load of stress. But it does not have to. Although the members of your family may not be open to the idea at first, gently and continually remind them that it’s a necessary step and a perfectly normal part of the family evolution. Together, you can make it through the move with everyone unscathed.

Written By Kris Louis